1. Before you do anything else, ask your friends and family how they think you should get married. Get as many opinions as possible—it’s always better to make highly personal decisions with the doubts of others swirling around inside your heads.
I was 1 of approximately 4.2 people watching an episode of The Numbers Game the other day when the dorky host said it only takes 6 showers to become 20-something-percent physically tougher. Immediately, my brain was like, “You could do that easily, Jay … NOT!” See how that ****head talks to me? Determined to prove it wrong, I grabbed a towel, headed for my newly remodeled master bath, and proceeded to ruin the experience of having had it remodeled in the first place.
1. Refresh your moldy shower curtain. Skip that $10k bathroom remodel and head to Target for a $10 shower curtain instead. Yes, you’ll still be stuck stepping into the same dank standard tub with golden shower head (no pun intended) every morning, but it’ll give your occasional houseguest something to admire while he/she makes your toilet gross.
Many people wouldn’t classify tennis as a sport you can play, uh, with yourself, in the comfort of your own home, on the carpet. Well, I’m proving those haters wrong every day, albeit unnecessarily. How, you didn’t ask? I’m proud to say one of the best features of my home is the ad-hoc “tennis wall” I’ve started hitting regulation tennis balls against with weirdly devoted regularity. Am I improving my game in the process? I’d certainly like to convince myself so. And you can, too.