How do I trick my sister into naming her baby after me?

Nothing says J like this cracked-out coffee-bean design.
The more I think about stuff, the more important it is for me to get my way about it. But especially with my sister’s baby-naming process.

As mentioned in my previous My Sister’s Pregnant blog, which sort of went viral with its impregnated self, my proposal to insert my name into the “Middle” slot of the birth certificate has been psychotically submitted, with the words “DO THIS (if you know what’s good for your baby’s future)!” on the cover page and lots of footnotes in the shape of actual baby feet. Too aggressive, or just right?

Why even perfect couples fight, too…

Polar bear fight!
If you saw my fiancee and I holding hands and walking through the park like we’re in love or something, you’d probably want to barf, and you might even expect Mr. Bluebird to land on her shoulder (after pooping on mine), but you’d never suspect that we just got done hating each other’s guts. Not when Caroline herself looks too innocent and fragile and beautiful to fill the air with the razor-sharp words of a woman on the verge of menstruation (bahahaha!).