How to stop hating people in 21 days

Strongly disliked your childhood? Live vicariously through these babies for a second and then quickly move on.

If there’s one thing you’ve always excelled at, it’s hating people. And things. You’re doing it right now, aren’t you? It’s this introduction, isn’t it? I understand.

But the tricky part about hating stuff? It’s scientifically proven to be hard work. Happiness is much easier, as well as entirely possible for you to achieve … provided you rewire your brain via the daily techniques described in Shawn Achor’s The Happiness Advantage. In the end, you’ll be that much closer to Finding Mr. Brightside, especially if you just got distracted and clicked on that link.

Step 1: Write down 3 things you’re grateful for (without laughing). Feel free to fake it until the positivity starts feeling artificially natural. If you’re easily embarrassed, don’t write your emotions in an actual journal that haters can access.

Step 2: Write for 2 minutes a day about a positive experience from yesterday. C’mon, tons of amazing things happened after you got that speeding ticket. Okay, but what about before?

Step 3: Exercise for 10 minutes a day. Shawn Achor is probably the kind of guy who goes to the gym to ride the elliptical for 10 minutes and be friends with people the other 50. The good news is you can become just as happy as him doing jumping jacks in your living room by yourself.

Step 4: Meditate for 2 minutes. If this sounds an awful lot like praying, you still aren’t allowed to skip this one. Besides, it might feel good to watch your breath for a few and then dump all your problems on a higher power. Give it a try!

Step 5: Write a borderline-creepy note to a colleague thanking or praising them. A note from you may not be what Linda from Accounting wants to see first thing in the morning, but this isn’t about Linda. This is about you feeling guilty for skipping her meeting yesterday and alleviating yourself of said guilt.

21 days seem like too big of a commitment? You drive a hard bargain. Here’s how to stop hating people in 15 minutes.

If all of the above fails, you can always give up, be yourself, and download a free sample chapter of The Edumacation of Jay Baker.


11 thoughts on “How to stop hating people in 21 days

  1. I just allow myself to actively hate someone so much that after a few days it burns out and I don’t even think about them anymore. It’s much easier, and I don’t even have to talk to anyone else about it or write any letters though I do try to hula-hoop for 15 minutes at least five days a week. Did you know you can read a book while hula-hooping? You can.

  2. You know, I simply lock the front door and act like I am not home 99.99% of the time. This keeps the “good ones” in and the arse holes out…smart huh?

  3. Who are you and why are you so funny? No seriously I cannot stand the majority of creation. You should keep up with this. I am interested in seeing how it turns out.

  4. Great article! Webbed toes are a dominant gene, for the record; we poor swimmers of the un-webbed toe variety are actually the freaks here. Also, hating people, for me, feels like a really strong habit (i.e. heroin), one that seeks reinforcement in every single human interaction I have…seems like once you start in on the hatin’, you are constantly (consciously or not) looking for evidence to support the way you feel.
    I guess the trick would be to un-train your mind and try to enter new interactions with impartial clarity (ha), or start to recognize (in the hatin’ moment) that you’re actually in control of your own thoughts and force yourself to delay/replace the negative feelings with positive ones. (In simpler terms: look for good stuff, not bad.) Sounds good, right? Needs more testing. :)

  5. Hi, everyone!!! I hate one person because she humbled me in front of everyone I know…what can I do to forget what happened, and leave in peace???

    • I “Googled” “how to stop hating someone” because I feel hatred towards someone (actually most people) and I came up with your blog. It lightened my mood. Thanks!

  6. I love this article that you wrote! I was searching for something on how to not hate my ex husband who is dead now. I feel like now that he’s passed I hate him more. Wtf?

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