10. Passbook. Just what I need, another useless app to keep track of all the other useless apps I’m not using. Pass!
9. iTunes U. I keep expecting Shannen Doherty to pop onto the screen in a lab coat and tell me how I can get my college degree through this seriously low-grade app. Deleting it with dishonors!
8. Words with Friends. This far-too-social app lost me at “Friends,” but I felt obligated to download it when a pushy friend of mine insisted. No, it’s not you, I have no idea which one; I just know I’ve never played it with her/him or anyone else. What’s a four-letter word for this app? Wack!
7. Game Center. I resent the nerd at Apple who forced this app on me and my fellow lazies who don’t feel like deleting things. Stop it! Who is playing this crap, anyway? Regardless, surely they’re in the minority. They’re more than welcome to download checkers 2.0 or whatever on their own time. Game over it!
6. Newsstand. Extra, extra, I just can’t get myself to open this app, ever. Even if they created a gun-to-the-head app and someone pressed their phone against my throbbing temple, not doing it. The end.
5. Quora. I don’t get what it does, why I downloaded it, or why I quit using it after the first five minutes. Quoth the raven, nevermore!
4. Pandora. Maybe it’s me, or this ad I’m being forced to listen to, but I feel like this app is an overrated box of streaming suck. Thumbs down!
3. iBooks. Quit trying to make me use iBooks instead of Amazon, Apple! iWillnot.
2. Find iPhone. Another app I’ve never opened. Can’t this thing just work automatically somehow? Why do I need to go through the process of signing up for everything? Loser!
1. Clock. What a waste of time. Buzz!
Any apps in your iPhone seem specially designed to irritate you? Complain about them in the comments section — that’s what it’s there for!